Feb 6, 2011

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14)

So I picked up my WEDDING DRESS yesterday. This was after the first mishap, where they ordered my dress the wrong size. Eek! But they reordered it and I got the right size finally. So we went back and I got to put my dress back on and I felt like a BRIDE. I haven't really felt like a bride. Sometimes you get so caught up in all the planning that you forget what it's all about. But I had my moment the other night. Rob is gone yet again for his monthly drill weekend - off to some machine gun range in central Kansas - so I was spending more nights alone. I've been having trouble sleeping lately, so I had the TV on. There really isn't much on TV but I had on TLC that had on 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'Four Weddings.' Some people might think it's a bad idea to watch these shows because I've already got my dress and most of my big wedding planning done, so I can't really change much now. But I watch them anyway. It was late, I couldn't sleep, it was on - it is what it is.

But I was watching these shows and thinking about my own dress and wedding. Which I suddenly became panicked about I knew I was going to trying on my dress for the second time and there were problems the first time so I was a little stressed about it. But I knew that I had picked the right dress. I knew that my dress was perfect and it is me. (Which let's face it, if it wasn't me then we got some bad stuff happening). But then I started thinking about the wedding and what was left and the schedule for the day and how things would go and how to communication with the people helping me and everything. And I started to feel overwhelmed and panicked, even knowing in the back of my mind there are hundred forty days left. But as I'm watching these other weddings on the show, I started to get excited. I watched the vows and the fun and how happy they were. And I realized that I didn't care if I got married if a barn wearing overalls because I'm marrying my BEST FRIEND and I couldn't be happier. He is my world and that's the only thing that matters.

I, at this point, got so excited to be marrying him and that this is what my life is turning out to be. I have been through a lot of pain and hurt and misfortune, but I waited and I always believed that GOD would send me the right person to me and I would go through all that pain and hurt again if I knew that Rob would be the one God sends to me. I was patient and I had faith that things would turn out (even though sometimes I got really discouraged) and God gave me exactly what I was asking for for so long because He knew better than me. Funny how that works, right? God always seems to know better. All we need is a little FAITH.

~B~

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