Apr 5, 2011

"I like time. There's so little and so much of it." (Angel, 1999)

I have mixed feelings about time these days. It seems like a weird statement, seeing as there is nothing that can be done about time but when you think about it. I can be your worst enemy or your best friend.

"It's strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up." (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

I currently find myself with a lot of time on my hands. Oh one hand, it seems to move quickly and I don't want to wish my life away. But on the other, I have too much of it. I have nothing but time these days. I seem to be in a holding pattern waiting for something to happen. The thing is that I'm not sure what is supposed to be happening all the time.

In 7 days I have yet another interview. In 14 days, I go to the eye doctor. In hopefully 17 days (give or take) from now, my second niece, Eladie, will be born. In 81 days from now, I'm getting married. In about 103 days, Rob goes for annual for two weeks. In about 139 days, I'm going back to school. In even more days than that, is Christmas. You get it.

We're all waiting for something. But those events seem to be all that my life is waiting for. I don't regret leaving Independence to come to Olathe. Nor do I regret leaving FDI for quite a few reasons. But I'm bored. I used to be bored to FDI and I would be pretty unhappy if I was still there for a couple reasons. But I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with all this time that I suddenly have.

So what do people do with their time? How do people fill up their days? Women once upon a time and even now sometimes, stay at home and don't work. And not all of them are taking care of kids. So how do those women fill their day? Because if this is how it has always been for women, I completely understand why they fought so hard to vote and later to work.

A while back I made up a life list with over a hundred some things on the list and maybe that's what I need to start working on. The hard part is a good chuck of them is traveling because I have always loved traveling and have always been the girl who wants to be anywhere but where she is. But my options are narrowed down. Maybe I should save and next annual training when Rob is gone, I should take a vacation. Go to the beach or a bunch of museums that he would hate or Harry Potter World or something. But the point is that when you have this much time on your hands you think you have more time to do these things but really it turns into, well there's always tomorrow to do that because there's nothing planned for tomorrow either.

So I guess maybe I just need to work on my motivation. I seem to be lacking it right now.

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