May 3, 2011

Zombies on the Titanic....what?

Have you ever turned on a horrible horrible movie and you knew it was horrible before you started watching it and it somehow got worse and worse as you were watching it?

I had that experience today. 

I was sitting around trying to figure out what to do this morning and I went to Netflix to find out what movie to watch. I went to the new release instant section hoping to find something good, but somehow I found  Titanic 2.

via
Now, I know what you're thinking:
Jack died in the last one. There's zombies on the Titanic now?

I don't want to ruin this movie for you because I know you will all seek this movie out as soon as you're done reading because it is that great! Truly it was so awful that it was awesome!

The movie is basically starting on the Titanic II which is the name of the ship (so just to be clear this movie is not a sequel. Anyone else disappointed that there aren't zombies?). They introduce the characters as they do in most movies (and yes I said most because you have to admit there are movies out there where suddenly a character pops up with no story or purpose but somehow outlives everyone!). There are two nurses, one of which is the daughter of a captain in the Coast Guard who somehow seems to know everything that's going on everywhere it seems. There is also the jerky guy who one of the nurses (the Coast Guard daughter and main character chick) used to date but now has taken over his father's company and rebuilt the Titanic.

I'm going to pause here for a moment to ask you this - are you more idiotic because you built another ship exactly like the first Titanic which sunk on her maiden voyage or do you take the cake because you're the idiot who got on the ship called the Titanic II and it is set to take her maiden voyage at the exact same time as the original?

But I continue....

Everything seems fine for like the first five minutes then it seems the world falls apart and suddenly global warming is the cause for a huge wave and random icebergs that will cause disaster to strike. The dad is flying all the while in a helicopter with a scientist who found all global warming glacier melting thing. I'm not completely sure how the Titanic II got so far out to sea when it took off that day. Time must not exist. (See R this is totally a sci-fi movie!).

But needlessly to say the Titanic II as you could probably guess does indeed get hit by an iceberg - but yes it got hit by the iceberg so it wasn't its fault -  but history starts repeating itself (and then it just takes lines from the movie Titanic every once in awhile that I'm not even sure was really said on the real-life Titanic). As you can guess it's sinking and people are dying - the usual. But there's an added bonus: let's call it the bonus wave. There is a second wave threatening the Titanic II.

Will our main characters make? Will they survive this horrible tragic accident? Will someone really be stupid enough to make a Titanic III?

I won't ruin the rest of the movie for you. I know, I'm sweet. But after relying the entire movie to R he decided that he wanted to see this movie - I'm just that great at retelling a story but I think it's my added commentary that won him over to this movie however. So we have decided to start a new tradition. We tend to find horrible movies on netflix that we really do hope to turn out good (I knew going into it that Titanic II would be bad). Frozen. The Canyon. Both ending in wolves and death - weird! So we are going to start our first ever bad movie marathon. We want to watch bad movies on purpose. Why would you do that you might ask? Well, because it's fun. And why not? The acting is bad, the effects are bad, the storyline is bad, there is nothing good about these movies. And what better movies to make fun and laugh at then these?

Personally I'm excited. And what's better is I get to share my bad movie, Titanic 2, with R and I just know he'll love.

LET THE BAD MOVIES BEGIN!

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