Jan 27, 2012

Why Defy Gravity?

I'm going to conduct a little survey here. A raise of hands will work. How many of you have been wondering about how I got started on this blog and why I chose the title 'Defying Gravity?' Okay, put your hands down, you just look silly I can't actually see you. But seriously, I started this blog September 29, 2010. Seems so long ago now. But have you ever wondered why I started it in the first place? What would possess an almost-ordinary girl to start a blog and feel the pressures of writing on a regular basis and airing my business out of the whole world to see? Well, because I love the attention. Ha! I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

I started this because I saw it in a book. You know how I love books. It was in one of those books that have 101 or 1000 or whatever number of things that you should do before you die. I picked it up at a bookstore and flipped through it and somehow I manged to land on the page that talked about how you should write your own blog. Luck, right? And I will say that I am so glad that I did. I'm not saying that blog writing should be for everyone, but it's definitely fun. And it's definitely even more fun because I have readers (which I still think is amazing so a million times more thanks for reading!). And as much I love having readers, I actually started this blog for me. And it took me a while for me to even start posting that I even had a blog and over time I have become more confident in my writing and I love having readers (other than myself).

I have always loved writing. Since as long as I can remember, I have always been writing.  So it seems like the natural order to progress to blog writing. I've done just about everything else out there so why not try my  hand at expressing myself to the whole world. If you have ever felt like people know more about you than you know about them and it kinda freaks you out - blog writing is not for you. But me, I love it. Even if no one read this blog, I would probably still write. Writing is just what I know (even though I don't always feel like I do it well).

So now to answer part two: Why I chose the title 'Defying Gravity?' Has anyone read the book Wicked? Has everyone seen the musical? Has everyone heard the song? Well, I read the book and didn't really like it - I found it slow and took forever to get through, maybe one day I'll try reading it again, but that's definitely not the point. I've never seen the musical (but I really want to), but I've heard the music from it. The music is amazing and I love it. And it was through this musical (and itunes) that I first heard the song Defying Gravity, originally sung by Idina Menzel. It is a truly a beautiful song.

I first heard this song when I was pretty much at my lowest. I was just trying to find my way and I was dealing with a lot. And I heard this song and as silly as it may sound to you, this song helped me to get through. I felt like I could fight through and maybe the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't a train coming at me but maybe it was actually the light (little did I know that a few years later my real light would come into my life). But at the time you're dealing with something, you don't see the end. You don't see that everything will be okay. All you see is how tired you are. Of how you don't want to fight just to stay afloat anymore. You see that maybe things really aren't going to get better. That's where I was.

But every time I heard this song, something would come alive in me again and that flicker of hope pushed me forward. It's funny how something so simple can do something so big. To most of you, this is just a song. But for me, this has been my motto and my mantra for a very long time. So when I decided I wanted to start my own blog, the natural choice as the title was 'Defying Gravity.' There was never another name I intended for this. But more than that, this song - this phase - has become my mantra.

So that's why I "Defy Gravity." That's why I started this. That's why I couldn't have a blog with any other name but this. So on this very personal note - something that no one really knew about me until I decided to reveal it to the world - I leave you the lyrics to my treasured song....

"Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instinct
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try
Defying Gravity
I think I'll try
Defying Gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try
I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy
Defying Gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately:
Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me
Take a message backf rom me
Tell them how I'm
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity"

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