Apr 13, 2015

"Retreat hell! We just got here!" [Cpt. Lloyd Williams, USMC]

For the last four years I have been a military spouse. And for about two years I was a military
girlfriend. I learned quickly that military time is very different than civilian. In fact sometimes I wondered if they even had clocks there. I learned that communication was often a no go and to get used to the silence. I learned that sometimes being in the military cost us money. I learned that being in the military cost us time. I learned how to deal with the distance and time apart. I learned regulations, ranks, and abbreviations.

In the six years of being with a man in the military I came to appreciate the time not taken up by military tasks. I came to appreciate him being next to me every night he could because I slept so much better. I came to appreciate that he was never deployed and the three weeks and countless weekends each year we spent apart was nothing compared to what many spouses went through. I came to appreciate having the father of my daughter around all the time especially after seeing how hard it is on her when he is away. I came to appreciate having my husband around to talk to every day. 

The military has become something I joked about being a part of some of our biggest moments. If it hadn't been for the Marines and when Rob joined we probably never would have met. My water started leaking on a drill weekend and the Monday directly after our daughter was born. I had my first miscarriage while he was with the Marines. Addison's regression came to a head. Not to mention countless other things: my car died, our apartment ceiling had water pouring through, I fell down the stairs while pregnant. Just to name a few. I have come to expect something to happen while he's away.  

For six years (although Rob has been in for seven total) I have spent countless nights wanting my best friend there next to me to talk to but instead crawling into bed alone. I have spent countless nights falling asleep to Dirty Jobs or Mythbusters on Netflix (I'm sad you can't get those shows on instant anymore!) because the quiet was too much. I have written countless letters to him so I would remember everything about my day so I could share it with him with he got back again. I have cried countless times because of a bad day and all I wanted was my husband and best friend.

For the past six years I have watched flights arrive and depart counting down the days, sometimes hours, until he returned again. I have washed uniforms and learned to properly hang them to dry. I have remind him to get to wallet out of his jeans or his dog tags off the mirror. I have searched for the perfect dress every year to accompany the most handsome man to celebrate the Marine Corps birthday. I have made him food at midnight when he finally gets home from a 16-17-18 hour day. 

And I have been happy to do it all for him. I have been told by girls that they would never get involved with someone in the military. My response is that I love him for who he is and all that he is. The military is just part of it. Yes there are a lot of things that suck about it but I do it all and put up with all of it for him. Because that man is worth it. 

And I'm proud of him. How many people can say that they are in love with their hero? 

And I will always be in love with my hero. Even though I'm not washing uniforms, watching flights, reminding him of dog tags, or making food at midnight. 

So for now the amazing man I married is no longer a drilling reservist. That doesn't mean we are saying good-bye to the Marine Corps forever. What the future holds, I have no idea but what fun would it be if I did know. I do know that I am proud of him. I am proud of all he does and who he is. And no matter what he chooses next, I'm with him one hundred percent forever his number one fan and cheerleader.

xo, B

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