Aug 17, 2015

A Pregnancy Story: 10 Weeks

You have now completed the most critical portion of your development even though you are barely
the size of a kumquat. You are a little over an inch long and weight less than a quarter of an ounce. You are now swallowing fluids and kicking like crazy. Your vital organs, kidneys, intestines, brains and liver are in place and starting to function, even though they still need a lot of development. You now have working arm joints, with cartilage and bones forming. Your hands flex at the wrist and meet over your chest, plus your feet are long enough to meet in front of your body too. Your skin is translucent which makes your spine visible, and your spinal nerves stretch out from your spinal cord. Your fingernails and hair are starting to appear now as well.

This was a big exciting week for me because this was the week that I officially stopped taking Metformin. It's a diabetes medicine that I started taking to help with the PCOS and have been taking three horse pills a day for the last six months or so. It's chalky and just tastes awful, so I can't even begin to explain how excited I am to finally be done with them. I wish I could say that wasn't the only exciting thing this time. But the morning sickness is still kicking my butt this week.

I am so ready to start feeling better. Every week I hope for a new start and to start feeling better overall. But every week I feel disappointed because yet again I don't feel good. Yet again I spend another week throwing up. Morning sickness is definitely my biggest complaint. I'm getting sick at least twice a day every day and when I'm not actually throwing up I'm really queasy. I get so hungry but then struggle to find anything that to eat that doesn't make me sick. I'm still napping a lot but that is nothing compared to the morning sickness. Plus who is going to complain about a nap? It does mean I'm not getting a lot of things done around the house but that can be done another day. It's just been another week of just surviving and making it through one day at a time.

If we are being perfectly honest, I hate being pregnant. I know for some women, they love being pregnant and they get this happy glow. When I'm pregnant, I tend to spend all my time with my head in a toilet. Gross but true. At first I truly thought my morning sickness was so much better this time than with my first pregnancy, but I was so wrong. I'm getting sick a couple times a day and can hardly eat anything without getting sick. Opening the fridge makes me nauseous. Throwing anything in the trash makes me nauseous. Talking about food makes me nauseous. I feel like I'm barely eating or barely functioning most of the time. I'm hungry but struggling to find anything to eat at the same time. I just hope that unlike last time, this stops after the first trimester and I can start functioning like a semi-normal person again.

Being pregnant is definitely not all sunshine and puppies. In fact I find nothing positive about actually being pregnant, I'm just counting down the days until the pregnancy is over and I have a beautiful baby in my arms. Between the exhaustion and the morning sickness, I'm not doing all the great most days. I'm no longer sleeping through the night but I have at least one trip to the bathroom every night. I know the day will come when I can't sleep on my stomach anymore and I'm dreading it. For the most part I already avoid it for the most part because of all the morning sickness and queasiness, the pressure doesn't help. There are just some unpleasant things about being pregnant. There's all there is to it. I am definitely one of those people who have to keep focusing on the end goal because actually being pregnant is not so great for me.

(Saturday, August 8 - Friday, August 14)

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