Mar 17, 2016

The Adjustment of Addison

In case you missed it, our lives have changed quite a bit around here. Connor has been around for two and a half weeks now, and things will never quite be the same again. Especially for Addison.

When we first started talking about getting pregnant, I was most worried about the effect it would have on Addison. I worried about how much her life would change and how I worried it might trigger another regression. I learned that it was all normal things to worry about when thinking about having another baby. That didn't mean I didn't worry about Addison and how she would do.

We had started talking to her about Connor when I started showing and we picked his name early on. She learned Connor was in mama's belly and even started introducing him when we went places. But we knew that she really had no idea what was coming. So I was definitely nervous. I was more nervous about how Addison would do than actually having a newborn again.

She was a little confused when he was born but she seemed okay. We told her this was Connor, baby brother. And she seemed excited. But for the most part she was more excited to see us since she was staying with her grandparents. Mostly she just wasn't interested in him.


Then we got home and she realized he came with us. We continued to talk about Connor and she started noticing him more. She mostly just wanted to play and because he couldn't play she didn't care. We let her go about her normal routine as much as we could, noticing that her loudness didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He barely reacted to her at all.

But she was starting to notice him more. She was excited to sit next to him in the backseat. She started kissing him good night every night. She came into our room every morning to say good morning to him. She wanted to help. She introduced him to everyone. She was just excited about being a big sister. She even expressed concern about him when he cried at night or when she saw his umbilical cord ("Yucky. Pull it off!")




But that's not to say that everything has been perfect. She has been a little jealous and has been wanting extra attention. The normal three-year-old temper tantrums were made worst by her wanting all of our attention all the time again. She loves her brother but she was sad about the solo attention she was used to getting from us.

We even took a family outing to the zoo for something fun just for her. Of course Connor came along but he slept the whole time and we were able to focus just on her. She has been talking about that zoo trip since to everyone she can. It has always been our goal to make sure we take time for her, to make sure she feels just as loved.

Overall it has gone well. She is a great big sister. She is a proud big sister. She looks at him and proclaims that "he's cute!" She wants to talk to him ("talk to baby Connor"). Or she wants to look at him when he's crying ("it's okay Connor").

We aren't past all the temper tantrums by a long shot but we manage. We try to give her the attention she needs when she needs it. She try to include her. We try to get her involved in things that she can do but he can't, like helping mama cook. The biggest thing for us that we don't want her to resent him or hate him for being here and having to share us.


We are proud of our biggest monster and how well she is doing. It's taking some adjusting for all of us but we are getting there.

xo, B

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