Apr 28, 2016

After Baby: 2 Months


"Nine Months Up, Nine Months Down" [exercise and getting my body back]
Now that we are at the two month mark, I finally get to have my postpartum check (my doctor does postpartum checks at 8 weeks so you go in for your baby's 2 month checkup and your postpartum check at the same time - saves a trip) and get cleared for everything. I'm really looking forward to exercising again. I am a couple pounds out from my pre-pregnancy weight so my concern is not for losing any baby weight but definitely just sweating and doing something active again. I was really enjoying getting a good work out before I was pregnant and I look forward to getting back to that again.

Although I am only a couple pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and actually I'm right where I was after doing Jillian Michael's Body Revolution (read about that here and what I did after here), I'm not completely comfortable in my own body. Exercise for me is not about losing weight (although it is a nice bonus), it's more about feeling healthy and more like me. That's what I look forward to. I like that sense of accomplishment after finishing a workout and knowing I did something I couldn't do before. So I'm definitely looking forward to finally getting cleared. I have reminded myself not to go crazy right away because my body is still healing and I haven't worked out in awhile, but at this point I don't care what I do I just want to do something.

[Physical] Healing

My body is feeling pretty good. My milk has pretty much dried up now. I do feel a little out of sync while my body is trying to get back into a cycle but I'm looking forward to getting back on a cycle, especially going back on birth control which helps with that cycle and just feeling completely normal again.

Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?

Connor is a pretty good sleeper but that doesn't mean I sleep great. I don't think I really sleep well the first year. Once we moved Addison at four months I started sleeping better then of course once she started sleeping through the night at about five-six months. But we are far from that at this point. Even if Connor sleeps great, I still wake up to check on him. Because I got sick a couple weeks ago, Rob took over night feedings so I could try to get some sleep and let my body rest. But I still don't feel rested and definitely exhausted all the time. I try to sneak in a nap during the day but it's hard since Addison has dropped her quiet/nap time. Every once in awhile I get a nap in while Addison reads quietly or plays on the iPad, but that's definitely not every day. I know I'll sleep again but that's just not right now.

"Baby Blues" and All those Pesky Hormones

These hormones are killing me. I feel a little all over the place and at times very overwhelmed. Mix in post-pregnancy hormones while my body tries to figure itself out again with my PCOS hormones and you have a mess. That's another big reason I'm looking forward to going back on birth control - it evens out all those hormones.

Truthfully I've been struggling a bit. I have a little bit of mom guilt for letting Addison have so much screen time while I struggle with Connor with one thing or another. Some days we have great days and I feel awesome then other days he refuses to sleep and gets overly tired and cries at me for an hour. At this age it's hard to tell what baby I'm going to get which means I'm either having a great day or a terrible day where I struggle all day long and sometimes end up calling Rob in tears just for a suggestion of what I can do that maybe I haven't thought of yet.

This is definitely no different than I felt with Addison although it's easier to get frustrated now since I have a three-year-old. Thankfully she's been pretty easy with no big fits about anything. She does get herself stuck on repeat asking the same question over and over or points out that Connor's crying when I definitely already know he's crying. Sometimes she gets snapped at and I feel terrible and we talk about how she didn't do anything wrong but mama's having a hard time. Parenting isn't about things right all the time. It's a lot of trial and error and lately I feel like I have had a lot of errors but we are figuring it out, it just takes time.

xo, B

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