Jun 12, 2018

Bump to Baby: 4-7 Weeks

Week 4
You are about the size of a poppy seed, so tiny tiny. Pretty much the only thing you are doing right now is getting comfortable, and if you could get really comfortable for the long haul that would be great. This week you are splitting into the embryo and the placenta. Despite being so small there are so many things that are happening this week that play into all the developing you have to do in the next few months. You have three layers - the endodrem, mesoderm, and ectoderm. Each of those layers having their own importance into forming things such as your digestive system, your vital organs, and your outer layers of hair and skin. So like I said despite how small you are, you are certainly busy settling in for the next few months and already starting to form whatever makes you you.

This week started out mostly symptom free, but towards the middle of the week I got hit hard with all
sorts of symptoms. From the beginning my biggest symptoms has been extreme thirst. I am not one to
normally crave water. I drink it but I just don't drink a lot of it because I don't really like water. But all I have wanted is water. And of course along with that is the need to pee every five minutes it seemed. I have even been waking up in the early morning to pee, which is really out of character for me and pretty annoying honestly. About halfway through the week I started having serious boob ache. My favorite part of the day quickly became when I could take off my bra at the end of the day. The cravings have continued from crab rangoons to cookies to McDonald's breakfast sandwiches. I have continued to be exhausted and boy has the moodiness kicked in.

Truthfully we found out about you last week when I was only about 3 weeks 3 days. It was actually pretty early, but I knew without a doubt that I was already carrying you which prompted me to take a test. I have gone through this a few times now so I have certainly come to realize when something is different. My first sign was that it seemed all the sudden I had to go to the bathroom all the time. I figured it was either pregnancy or I had an UTI, but again I have done this enough times to know the difference. My next major sign was that I started having cravings which mostly included prosciutto. I just couldn't get enough of it, but now of course I can't even eat it since it's deli meat.

I had a few other things that came and went before I hit 4 weeks. At firs the sides of my boobs were a bit sore like I had done a bunch of push-ups then they hurt all over. And again there were times that the ache was really noticeable and they felt full and other times that everything was normal. I have had days when I was really hungry and couldn't seem to get full. Then other days i would think I was really hungry and as soon as I was two bites in I was full. It's hard to judge the exhaustion because I am often pretty tired on a regular basis. Although I had a couple days that I went to be d really early because I was so tired. So like I said it was a mixed bag right after I found out I was pregnant.

(Sunday, April 15 - Saturday, April 21)

Week 5
This week you are the size of peppercorn. Or an orange seed or an appleseed. Whatever you want to imagine. You are looking a lot like a tadpole right now with just a little head and tail, and luckily in the next few weeks that will change quite a bit. Right now your circulatory system is developing first which means your little heart is beating  which means that we might even have been able to see it if we had gone in for an ultrasound this week.

The symptoms have hit me hard this week. Last week I was my normal tired self and I thought there was no way I could feel more tired than I currently do. Then this week came and I feel completely exhausted, which is definitely challenging since I have two very active kids to keep up with. I have also been heavy on the mood swings this week. Mostly I run middle of the line but I definitely tend to jump back and forth on my mood. Towards the middle of this week the queasiness started a little more hardcore. I'm usually okay for breakfast but when it comes to make lunch and thinking about food I just think about eating and my stomach turns. I haven't actually been sick at all but definitely been dealing with a lot of queasiness. Also my face seems to have broken out like a teenager all over again. I just keep fighting break out after break out. I definitely don't miss all the acne I seem to get with pregnancy hormones.

Because I have had four previous losses, my doctor wanted to get my betas checked to make sure everything was progressing the way it was supposed to. On one hand I was nervous about finding out my numbers and maybe finding out that I was miscarrying again this way, which I had done twice already. But on the other hand having those numbers also meant peace of mind if things were going well. So during my confirmation appointment I had my first blood draw to get my betas then all i could do was nervously wait for the phone call. The call came in the middle of my afternoon as I was getting ready to go pick up Addison from school. I was happy to find out that everything looked great. My progesterone was at 22 and my hcg was at a level expected for 4 weeks pregnant. I could breathe a sigh of relief.

But now I had to wait until two days before I had to have them taken again. So 48 hours later I was back in for the blood draw and back to waiting. Except the phone call never came. I just hoped it wasn't because it was bad news. I thought maybe the results hadn't come in for some reason, I thought maybe she had been called out for a delivery. But whatever it was, I didn't get a call that day, so I had to wait until the next day to finally get the results. When the nurse called the next morning she said my hcg was progressing nicely but my progesterone had dropped. It was done to 16 but at this point it wasn't a big worry because my doctor just wanted to see that number above 15. And I had one more draw to do and that would give us an idea of how things were progressing.

I went in for my last draw and at this point I wasn't sure what to think. I read some about dropping progesterone but raising hcg and mostly I saw that it wasn't too concerning but I was still nervous. Luckily I got a call that afternoon that my hcg was still progressing beautifully and my progesterone had actually gone back up to 20. They were pleased and we didn't need to do any more blood draw but proceed with my scheduled ultrasound and OB appointment. All was good.

(Sunday, April 22 - Saturday, April 28)

Week 6
This week your head is starting to develop more prominently. Your jaw, cheeks and chin are developing. Your ear canals are also forming, plus small dots on your face that will form eyes and a nose are in place although it will be a few weeks before they are actually formed. Also your kidneys, liver and lungs are developing. Even more exciting is your heart is now beating, which means we could now hear or at least see it on an ultrasound. 

This has been a tough week. I have been so queasy all week long. I have struggled all day and it would get even worst when I was hungry. I didn't really have much in the way of food cravings but I
definitely had a lot of food aversions. Trying to find things to eat this week has been close to impossible. I actually started to worry because right at the end of the week I started feeling normal with less queasiness. It was hard to not worry when the symptoms lessened. But it hasn't all been queasiness but also exhaustion. I am waking up in the night to go to the bathroom but it doesn't just feel like I didn't get a full night of sleep but more that I didn't sleep at all. I actually napped almost every day this week. I have also had a lot of ups and downs with my moodiness this week. It's definitely hard to tell how I'm going to be feeling and what my mood will be from moment to moment. I have pretty much just felt terrible all week.

I was looking forward to this week but also worried about it. By getting to 6 weeks, that meant I had passed all four of my milestones. But I knew I hadn't really passed any of them until I had an ultrasound and confirmed that everything was okay. My doctor wanted me to get an ultrasound early so we could confirm dates and that everything was indeed okay, and I was not sad about that decision at all. I hadn't really put much thought into that ultrasound until the day before when my nerves kicked into gear. I just started to worry.

I had trouble sleeping the night before my ultrasound. The fact that the constant queasiness had set in should have been a huge indicator to me that everything was okay but it was hard not to expect the worst. Rob took the morning so he could come with us because I was sure the kids would be okay, but I just didn't want to face it alone. I saw a new ultrasound tech for the first time in all my pregnancies and she was nice, already even knowing my history of four miscarriages and got right to it. She pointed out the baby and immediately I could see the beating heart. It was like I could breathe again. All I wanted was to see the heart beating. She said they weren't going to force the sound waves on a baby this little but being able to see it was enough for me. She was able to see that it was beating 121 beats per minutes which is perfect. Everything else looked perfect as the ultrasound went on. I was measuring 6 weeks 1 day (when we went in I was 6 weeks 2 days so right on where I was supposed to be). It was seriously like a huge weight was lifted. Our little baby had a beating heart and everything looked perfect. I couldn't ask for more than that!

(Sunday, April 29 - Saturday, May 5)

Week 7
You are now about the size of a blueberry at about a quarter of an inch long. You are now about 10,000 times bigger than you were a month ago. The majority of that growth has been in your head which has been busy generating brain cells at about 100 per minute. This week your arms and legs are starting to grow this week which will divide into the hand, arm, shoulder segments and the leg, knee and foot segments. Your kidneys are developed and will start working on waste management soon. Also this week you are forming your mouth and tongue. 

The constant queasiness is starting to get to me. It's draining and makes it feel almost impossible to function. I have such a negative
relationship with food right now. I had so many cravings for awhile but that has definitely gone by the wayside and I mostly want nothing to do with food. Except for the fact that I am hungry all the time but can't find anything to eat that doesn't make me want to throw up. I have at least not had any morning sickness but the constant feeling awful is pretty terrible. You couple the constant queasiness with being really really tired and it's been a tough week. I have also been pretty bloated this week which makes wearing anything tight really uncomfortable. I have mostly been wearing elastic waist shorts but when I have wore anything with buttons I have had to use the ponytail holder trick because I just couldn't button them otherwise. So this week has been pretty rough overall. I just haven't felt very good at all this week.

This week was my first OB appointment and just as I was with my ultrasound, I was a bundle of nerves. I knew this was going to be a pretty simple appointment and we wouldn't even be able to listen for a heartbeat again because it was too early, but it was hard not to feel nervous. I had actually read that it was pretty normal for women with recurrent pregnancy loss to have a lot of anxiety around appointments and ultrasounds, and I was definitely in that category. But there was nothing to be nervous about. It was a lengthy appointment because we had to go back over history even though my OB is my all the time doctor. I also had to get a ton of blood work done just to check that everything was good. I was there for what felt like forever but everything seemed to be good which meant she didn't need to see me for another month like a normal OB patient.

(Sunday, May 6 - Saturday, May 12)

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